If you’ve been ghosted (left abruptly without warning) or bread-crumbed (teased and strung along for an extended period of time), chances are, you were somewhat clued in to what was happening. Regardless of which trendy nomenclatures you use, these wishy-washy behaviors are fairly easy to spot.
Which may be why the recently-dubbed trend of “stashing” hits much closer to home: there’s a decent chance that many of us have experienced (or been guilty of) this snub, without realizing it at the time.
Ellen Scott created the name “stashing” as part of a piece she wrote for Metro UK. According to Scott’s article, the term is associated with relationship behavior that involves “stashing” someone away so that they’re never in contact with other people in your life, and are excluded from your other friend groups and activities. Basically: the “stasher” keeps the relationship in a little bubble, so that they never have to feel overly-committed.
As Scott writes:
Yes, we’re the ones who’ve just come up with a name for it, but it’s a thing that’s happening to people from all corners of the world of dating. A victim of stashing is hidden from every other part of the stasher’s life — from their tagged photos to their casual chats with their parents. Why? Because that way, they’re able to pretend that they’re not ~really~ dating the person they’re stashing, meaning they can justify getting with other people, doing whatever they fancy, and being generally inconsiderate and awful
You’re in a relationship or dating in all other senses, but by refusing to acknowledge your existence publicly, or to other people in their life, the stasher is able to tell themselves that you’re not actually together, so they’re perfectly entitled to treat you poorly.
Sound familiar? This “one foot out the door” approach is all too common in the modern dating scene, so if you ever feel like your significant other is keeping you under wraps from the rest of the people in their life, it might be important to ask why.
And if you’re guilty of committing this behavior, well … perhaps the unflattering moniker is enough to convince you that it’s a shitty thing to do to people.