Twitter is realizing that we actually don’t know sh*t about the ‘Monster Mash’ and people can’t handle it

In today’s installment of “Information You’ve Been Wrong About This Entire Time,” the internet is helpfully pointing out some serious misconceptions about one of the most popular Halloween songs of all time.

Proceed with caution, however, because your brain may never be the same.

You are, most likely, vaguely familiar with Bobby Pickett’s 1962 hit, “Monster Mash.” The chorus is almost nauseatingly familiar, and the song seems to play incessantly every October.

The song is a cultural mainstay and a seasonal staple — but people are collectively reeling over several recent realizations about the hit.

First of all: one Twitter user recently pointed out that we’ve never actually heard the “Monster Mash,” we’ve just listened to a song about the “Monster Mash.”

This shocking theory actually does make a perverse kind of sense, when you think about it.

Such staggering information was enough to stop Twitter right in its tracks, and had people rethinking everything they thought they knew to be true.

And, in case you wanted to get uppity about the specifics, don’t even: the “Monster Mash” is both a song AND a dance.

As if this weren’t enough to blow our minds, writer Chris Schleicher also acutely pointed out that the song never actually confirms that the event takes place on Halloween.

Which is a pretty incendiary opinion, but THE LYRICS (or lack thereof) DON’T LIE, Y’ALL.

Steve Greenberg, the founder of S-Curve Records and a Grammy winning record producer, actually sort of confirms the theory in a 2012 article for Billboard:

There’s no doubt that “Monster Mash” was the product of a very specific cultural moment and that upon its release the audience understood precisely what it was parodying.  The two fads it drew on were the spate of Twist-inspired early 60’s dance craze records, in this case specifically “Mashed Potato Time” by Dee Dee Sharp; and the contemporaneous movie monster craze, ignited by the re-packaging for television of the Universal Studios monster movie catalogue.

Not to mention the fact that the song was released in August of 1962, which isn’t really the prime release season for Halloween-geared song parodies. The “Monster Mash” was never really about Halloween — it’s just a parody song about creepy monsters, which somehow got co-opted into the Halloween tradition.

In short, everything we’ve believed for ages is a lie, and we all need to go back and sort out our priorities, because our collective Halloween knowledge is seriously coming up short.

And now I have “Monster Mash” stuck in my head, probably forever.

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