Guys have the ability to piss anywhere they please — a fact which I often rue when I’m stuck in the car and I’m trying to hold my pee until the next available bathroom. Every guy I’ve asked has admitted to peeing in a bottle at some point in his life, and subsequently leaving said bottle lying on the floor of his bedroom.
It’s undeniably gross, not to mention the height of laziness, but part of me understands the impulse: if you can pee without making a mess and without leaving your comfy chair, well, why wouldn’t you?
(Although my response to that query would be, “BECAUSE WE ARE NOT ANIMALS.”)
One little kid in Bournemouth, England may have gotten slightly carried away with his male pee privileges, however.
21-year-old Phoebe Bartlett has a 3-year-old little brother named Freddie. Recently, Freddie found himself in the rather bizarre and hilarious situation of getting in trouble for peeing in a nightstand drawer … repeatedly. (Ew.)
Phoebe snapped a photo of a distraught Freddie getting confronted about his pee drawer, and the timing couldn’t be more perfect.
Apparently, Freddie initially told his mother that the dog did it before ultimately confessing to his piss crimes. (Fortunately, the Batman costume is helping Freddie to retain some of his dignity.)
“What happened was mum could smell wee in her room for about a week, but couldn’t find a patch from the dog, so she asked my brother if the wee was in her room,” Phoebe told BuzzFeed. “Then he opened the drawer and she screamed and said, ‘Did you do this?’ and he then said he did.”
While it might sound like the sort of thing that would be done out of spite, Bartlett says that the piss drawer seemed to be a result of laziness more than anything.
“He’s only 3 years old,” Bartlett explained. “He must have been doing it while he’s in his room watching his tablet, which is also on the drawer, and can’t be bothered to go to the toilet, so he opened the drawer and was peeing in there.”
Twitter was vastly entertained by Phoebe’s absurd photo.
Although people were also understandably disgusted.
Have to give major props to the nightstand drawer for concealing Freddie’s illicit behavior for so long, though.
Some folks thought it was disrespectful for Phoebe to share such an embarrassing story about her little brother.
Phoebe’s not particularly worried, though.
“Some people think it’s hilarious and the best tweet, whereas others find it disgusting and think I’m a horrible sister,” she told BuzFeed. “But at the end of the day, it’s my brother, and my mum is fine with it, so it’s OK!”
I don’t know, guys … I still feel like the dog might have some explaining to do.