I’ve never assumed that working at Starbucks was an enjoyable experience. I mean, just think about how many Starbucks employees have been verbally castigated for not writing “Merry Christmas” on coffee cups (or any other phrase the lazy public decides it’s going to request in “protest” of Starbucks, even though all of these people are still buying Starbucks coffee).
However, a recent Tumblr post has me reflecting on all of the truly unnecessary and embarrassing bullsh*t we put Starbucks baristas through — specifically, with our high-maintenance and occasionally disgusting drink orders.
Tumblr user theblacknerd recently gave his two weeks notice at Starbucks, and as such, he decided to shared snapshots of some of the most absurd drink orders he’s ever received.
Spoiler alert: they’re obnoxious.
It turns out, Americans are incredibly addicted to sugar, particularly in their coffee. Who knew??
Um, you got enough syrup there, friend?
Why don’t you just go to the store and buy a pumpkin? You could probably eat the entire thing.
Is this some sort of code? Am I supposed to unscramble a secret message from these words??
BECKY. YOU DON’T NEED 12 SUGARS. YOU NEED SLEEP.
Look, we all deserve to order our sugary drinks in peace, without fear of judgement or reprisal. (I’m pretty sure that’s listed in the Bill of Rights.)
But, just know that if you need 15 pumps of pumpkin syrup in order to enjoy your pumpkin spice latte, you don’t actually like coffee: you like syrup.