This woman’s response to being told she’s not “a real mom” will have you cheering

No matter how you get there, the daily act of being a parent is no easy feat. Parenthood doesn’t stop when sun goes down, doesn’t take sick days, and doesn’t discriminate between natural birth, c-section, adoptive and step parents.

Adoptive mother and Reddit user vietnamazinggg vented her frustrations when a woman on Facebook told her she “wasn’t a real parent.”

Because she and her wife went through the adoption process and didn’t physically give birth to their son doesn’t make her journey any less important. In a post on Reddit, she eloquently clapped back at the nitwit with her thoughts:

I did not give birth to my child. I did not get to feel him growing within me, or hold him against my skin when he was born. Perhaps by your definition, my child is not a part of me – he does not resemble me or my wife.

Let me tell you what being a parent is to me.

I didn’t labor for hours for this child, I labored for YEARS. I waited for years to be told that we had been chosen, that we were finally going to be allowed to be parents.

I didn’t feel labor pains. I felt the incredible pain of emptiness in my heart and home as my wife and I yearned to begin our family through adoption.

I didn’t get to wake up in the middle of the night and nurse my sweet child. I did, though, spend many nights lying awake and praying to whomever might be listening to let us be next. Asking myself why we hadn’t been chosen yet. Poring over adoption profiles and sending endless e-mail inquiries on children available for adoption and being told no, no, no over and over again. And like you said, “you can’t possibly understand that feeling.” I feel certain you have absolutely no idea.

A child lives to depend on me – you’re right. My child has been let down by everyone else in his life. You think I am not losing sleep? He may not wake me up to feed him every couple hours, but he screams out in his sleep – no doubt reliving past traumas from the life he led before being adopted.

Not every experience is your experience. Not every mother is a mother because she gave birth. Not every child is yours or a “part of you” because you grew it inside of you.

My child will always be a part of me, because we’re fighting for this life together.

Being a parent is worrying every minute of every day (and night) whether your child is safe and healthy. It’s that swell of pure joy you feel when your child smiles at you. It’s soothing her when she’s upset, and reassuring her that you’re there. Genetics are just one small part of taking care of a child that needs and depends on you, but they don’t make you a better parent than anyone else. What matters most is that we raise our children to be happy, and above all else, to be loved.

For anyone who chooses to ignore vietnamazinggg‘s words, or even agrees with her FB abuser, she simply ends her post with “Fuck you. I’m a mom.”

Here, here!

956792 1 This womans response to being told shes not a real mom will have you cheering

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