Disguising an insult is typically not a good idea. There’s a 90% chance you won’t get away with hurting someone’s feelings because what initially sounds like a compliment, immediately turns offensive when considered in its entirety.
Successful sarcasm all depends on your verbiage, tone and relationship. So when these Redditors shared backhanded compliments, we went ahead and translated their brutally honest meanings. Because reading about disastrous comments is much more entertaining than receiving them.
1. When you receive unsolicited skin care advice
“I love your makeup. You can’t even tell you have skin problems.” – guava_balls
Translation: You hide your acne well.
2. When you’re told you look better in photos vs. real life
“That’s a really great picture of you! It doesn’t look like you at all!” -eDgAR-
Translation: You don’t usually look that pretty.
3. When your teacher thinks you’re stupid
After final exam results were posted I ran into a teacher who said, “Congratulations on your results – when I saw you’d passed, I knew everyone else had too.” jassieone
Translation: You’re the dumbest one in class.
4. When kids get brutally honest
“I asked my son to pay me a compliment. He said ‘I like what you’ve done with your bald spot.” – EdwinLongwood
Translation: You’re bald.
5. If slut is in the sentence, it’s not a compliment
“I got called tastefully slutty.” efbangs143
Translation: You’re a slut but not dirty.
6. When someone prefers you to be far away
From a girl on our campus for a volleyball tournament “Wow, you looked hot from a distance”. Awesome. Just fucking dandy. – throwawaytrumper
Translation: You look better when I can barely see you.
7. After a major haircut
“Wow, your hair looks SO much better now than it did before!” – trippykestrel77
Translation: You looked terrible before.
8. When a private teacher tries to guilt trip a student
“You’re much too talented to sound like this.”
Translation: You sounds really bad.
9. When you straighten your hair
“Wow! You look like you brushed your hair today?” “…Excuse me?” “What? Isn’t that your look?” My hair is naturally nearly straight though but… apparently looks unbrushed? They were shocked that I was offended. – Zeemeow
Translation: You brushed your hair for once.
10. When you get a sexy celebrity look alike
“You kind of look like Ryan Gosling if he was less attractive.” I don’t know how to respond to that. – Bannedfromfun
Translation: You’re Ryan Gosling’s ugly doppelgänger.
11. When your glasses are bugging you
Wore my glasses to the gym one day and while working out they started bothering me so I took them off, right away this meathead goes, “wow you look good without those glasses”. – buttsexanonumous
Translation: You look better with glasses on.
12. When your hookup had low expectations
During sex: “This is so much better than I expected…” – RalphWiggumEsq
Translation: I was expecting you to be much worse.
13. When someone compliments you.
“You’ve got a lot of potential.” – BeardsuptheWazoo
Translation: You’re not good enough as you are, but you could get a lot better, if you changed everything.
14. When you’re wearing a mask.
I showed my coworker a picture of me in a batman mask and she goes, “wow you’re really handsome with that mask on.” I went home and drank everything. – Breezy_TPE
Translation: You look better with your face covered.