Living and conversing with kids is sort of like constantly acclimating to an alien planet — there’s a significant chance that every conversation you have with them is going to be strange and confusing, and their customs are frequently mystifying.
That’s why writer and comedian James Breakwell uses his highly entertaining Twitter account, @XplodingUnicorn, to detail the various bizarre and hilarious interactions he has with his four (!!) young daughters.
Don’t let their ages fool you, though — these little girls are wise beyond their years.
Much like adults, they aren’t keen on long workdays.
They have the sassiest comebacks for every situation …
… and I do mean every situation.
These little girls might have a devilish streak, also.
Honestly, their frustrations are pretty relatable.
Did I mention they tell great jokes?
And disappointing them isn’t an option if you want to keep your self-esteem intact.
Honestly, these conversations make me equal parts eager and terrified to have children.
Breakwell is the author of the comedic parenting guide. Only Dead on the Inside: A Parent’s Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse, which “blends traditional parenting advice with zombie survival tips, bringing together two totally unrelated genres in a book no one asked for but everyone needs” and “teaches you how to raise happy, healthy children in a world overrun by the undead. ”
So, it sounds like James is pretty well prepared for both the zombie apocalypse and the verbal repartee of four extremely precocious little girls — which, as a parent, is really all you can ask for.