Is there anything more embarrassing than love? Ugh, humans with their need to connect to other humans and feel these feelings of intense romantic love that develop out of nowhere. All they do is make us act dumb, and look dumb. But what if the other person…has similar irrational feelings of love (or like)? You could actually be together and be happy! And so, the more confident among us actually tell other people they like them! It’s foolhardy to approach a crush, for sure, and it probably isn’t going to go well. Some people got on Ask Reddit to tell their own mortifying stories about how they found out somebody had a crush on them.
1. AvocadoVoodoo makes dudes go into lizard brain mode.
A coworker purchased a $3,000 giant lizard. (I think a monitor lizard?) He mentioned he named it my name. I laughed, not getting it, and asked if it’s spelled the same. He looked at me super intensely and said. “Yes. Exactly like you.” I… was only 19, and I sort of just walked away.
2. An animated adventure from deersquid.
some guy in one of my classes back in HS tried to impress me by writing me a story.
Unfortunately, this story turned out to be violent and explicitly sexual fan-fiction of characters I had made for creative project I was working on that the time. The characters in question were like, cute and cuddly cartoon animals, so needless to say I was extremely horrified.
3. RoastyTheToastyGhost’s story is purrrrrfectly creepy.
So, when I was in middle school, I was well known for liking cats. So, some friend of the guy that I actually did like decides that he was gonna follow me around the playground, PURRING to woo me.
A decade later and that still gives me the heebie jeebies.
4. Well, 30minutesofmayo, it would’ve worked if life were a trite romcom.
Guy I’ve known in passing for a few years invited me to hang out with him, his roommate I was better friends with, and roommates girlfriend. I got sick and he drove me home where he then spent the hour drive confessing that he had been in love with me for years (we had spoken MAYBE two dozen words in that time) and was pushed to action when he heard my boyfriend was going to propose soon.
I don’t know what his plan was. Like he thought I’d break up with my boyfriend of three years?
5. darkanddusty had a secret and secretive admirer.
This girl in middle school gave me flowers and said she liked me, and I didn’t know her name. We didn’t share any classes, she was really quiet, and those were the first words we’d ever spoken to each other. I didn’t know what to say.
6. A not-so-sweet-16 for etherealbeing_.
at my 16th birthday party, one of my best friends of like two years (at the time) was planning to ask me out. all of my other friends knew & they were acting really weird throughout the party because of it (trying to get me and him alone, asking me questions about whether i liked him, other dumb teenager stuff). he ended up awkwardly saying, “so… you’re a human… i’m a human… let’s just be humans together.” he tiptoed around the topic for a good 5 minutes before i understood. we ended up not dating, but we’re still close and we now joke about this all the time!
7. kaitfm’s crush employed an interesting tack.
In elementary school, this kid had an unhealthy crush on me. After our class performed our holiday play, he approached me and told me that if I don’t go out with him he would shove a thumb tack up his nostril. He actually did it and had to go to the hospital…
8. Say cheese, guccimaynyoon!
Her phone lit up and i was her lockscreen..
9. CptHammer_ is pretty fly.
I had a note passed to me in class that I had to read out once. It was from a girl I kinda liked.
It said, “let me copy your homework”.
I stood and read, “Pass it forward. Can you tell Mr. McMillan his fly is down privately, I’m kind of grossed out by what I’m seeing.”
His fly had been down since class started, and it was starting to bother me. The girl felt super embarrassed because the note originated from her and she never talked to me again. Needless to say Mr. McMillan was more worried about his fly than checking the note.
10. MyNSFWside doesn’t really feel like going to prison, thanks.
One of my students, who was less than half my age, told me she wanted to kiss me. She said this in a very public place, while I was chatting with her and her best friend. After she said it, I just kept jabbering away about whatever while my brain went “Wait, WHAT?”
11. MisterMarcus wasn’t given a lot of options.
Her female friend came up to me and just said, “Are you gay or just fucking stupid?”, and walked away.
12. Well, Dialgax, that’s horrifying.
She cut my name into her thigh.
13. Surprise, cpdk-nj!
I was asking him for advice on how to talk to my crush and he basically blurted out “I had a crush on you in 8th grade” in a very I-still-have-a-crush-on-you way
14. appleappleappleman had an even more embarrassing high school drama class experience than the rest of us.
In 9th grade Drama class, this girl asked the teacher to keep me after class to help her practice a scene. Turned out she was doing a Juliet monologue and I was standing in for Romeo.
The teacher sat me down on a chair in the center of the room and stepped back. Then this girl dramatically walks through the door from the teacher’s office where she had been hiding and stands like 5 feet in front of me. She stared into my eyes for the entire thing, professing her love to “Romeo”, while my Drama teacher giggled over in the corner. I was 100% not into this girl, but as I awkwardly left after the bizarre situation was over, my teacher said “You two would be so cute together!”
nope nope nope nope nope
15. But hey, verdant11, free imaginary roses!
A graphic designer I worked with put me in a storyboard pictorial where he was handing me roses 🌹.
I had to nope out of the room very quickly.