13 Totally NSFW Office Accessories You Might Just Need

We all know the work day can drag on forever and ever. Somedays it seems like there’s no end in sight and it’s a struggle just to keep your head up. It’s time for a change of pace. You need something to make you laugh and entertain you when you feel like you just can’t work anymore. Let’s be honest, what’s funnier than penises and curse words? Try any of these not so safe for work desk accessories and your day is sure to be interesting or really awkward if you have super conservative coworkers. Either way, it won’t be dull.

See Also: 15 Accessories For Anyone Who Loves Watermelon A Little Too Much


1. Penis Coffee Mug

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Coffee is the fuel that gets you through the work day and what better way to drink it than in a giant penis mug. Dont’t forget to make unblinking eye contact with a coworker while doing so.

Get it HERE

2. Bullshit Rubber Stamp

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Had enough of your coworker’s bullshit? There’s a stamp for that. Shut it down, shut it down right the fuck now.

Get it HERE

 

3. I Love Penis Mouse Pad

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Sometimes you just have to let the world know how you really feel. This mousepad is the perfect way to declare your undeniable love for one thing in particular…

Get it HERE

4. Fuck Work Engraved Gold Pencils

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Fuck work and fuck work some more. These pencils say it all and they’ll go nicely in your “small penis” pencil holder.

Get it HERE

5. Shit I Gotta Get Fucking Done Journal

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Every day comes with a new list of shit to fucking get done. So write it down in this journal and don’t fucking forget!

Get it HERE

6. Life Is Short Pencil Holder

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You need something to put all your pens and pencils in so why not this slightly passive aggressive holder? There’s no way to tell whose penis it’s directed at, could be anybody.

Get it HERE

7. Office Name Plate

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You have to let people know what’s up. We don’t mess around, it’s professional up in this bitch.

Get it HERE

8. Get Your Shit Together Note Pad

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When you need to get real about all the shit you have to do, this is the notepad for you. Separate the easy shit from the tough shit and get to it!

Get it HERE

9. Classy Curse Word Stickers

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Whenever you can’t scream it at your coworker, say it with a classy ass stickers. Whether it be “Fuck this shit” or “Wonder cunt,” these stickers have you covered.

Get it HERE

10. Gold Glitter Penis Stickers

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Honestly, these glittery golden penises are kind of adorable. It’s like when you get a gold star for doing something right except its a dong instead. Even better!

Get it HERE

11. Chippendales Wall Calendar

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Um, yeah so you’re obvi going to need something to brighten your morning when you get to the office. Why not an oiled up 6-pack and a bowtie? Yummy.

Get it HERE

12. Bitch Citation Nifty Note Pad

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For that one coworker who needs a more personal write-up, these Bitch Citation sticky notes are just the fit.

Get it HERE

13. Never Make Eye Contact Mouse Pad

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The number one rule: NEVER make eye contact, EVER. Unless, you’re like me and enjoy making things awkward. In that case make intense unblinking eye contact. I need this mousepad in my life.

Get it HERE

See Also: 15 Accessories For Anyone Who’s Utterly Addicted To Rosé

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