How To Dress When You F**king Hate Pants

So, leaving the house is the bane of your existence, and you only do so if you’re in dire need of something. Why? Because you fucking hate pants. The only thing that could rival your hatred for pants is your hatred for bras. That’s why you prefer to jam out with your clam out in the comfort of your own home where your boobies can roam free.

Sometimes, though, venturing out into the public is necessary. Like when you need food, have to go to work, have a date, your friends and family are having an intervention for you, or you’re, like, bleeding and need to go to the emergency room. Unfortunately, clothing is usually required. But don’t you fret!

Here’s a list of what to wear if you’re a person who just really fucking hates pants.

Related-ish: Reasons Shopping For Pants Is An Actual Punishment


1. Harem pants

Tobi Harem pantsTobi.com

I know, I know. This list should be sans pants. However, have you tried these on before? It’s basically like wearing pajama pants. They’re light and airy and make it feel like you’re smuggling a pair of angels inside all that free space below your crotch where normal pants would be crammed up all inside your business. Don’t mind me, I just have a couple angels wafting my vag with their wings, NBD.

Also, you can dress these up with a delicate top and high heels, or dress them down with a basic tee and some sneakers or sandals.

2. T-shirts that double as dresses

tshirt dressUrban Outfitters

But, lit-rally, all of the dresses. T-shirt dresses are hot right now, which is fine with me. Ain’t no shame in my oversized T-shirt-wearing game. Some other noticeable trends this year have been ruffles, florals, and flowy fabrics. My favorite feature, though, is the giant hole at the bottom—it’s so invigorating! Sometimes you gotta air out your lady bits.

3. Comfy AF shorts

tie shorts 1
Maykool

The best part is, they don’t even have to be jean shorts. These glorious ruffled linen tie shorts are posh and comfy. Lacey ones—or even some flirty printed ones—all have the advantage of showing off the junk in your trunk while leaving your legs free to do ninja kicks. You know, if you so choose.

4. Rompers

romper How To Dress When You F**king Hate PantsExpress

All the style of a dress, but without having to worry about flashing people thanks to a gust of wind! And no need to awkwardly tug it down throughout the day to make sure your butt is covered. Rompers have been a hot trend for a while now, and thanks to diverse styles and their functionality, they’re not going anywhere any time soon. Downside is, they do make going to the bathroom a bit of a debacle.

5. Clothing that blasts your hatred for pants

I hate everyone and pants
Zazzle

The number one rule in I Hate Pants Club, is: Tell everyone about I Hate Pants Club by wearing the team shirt. Do not go gentle into those denim leg prisons. Rage, rage against restricted range of motion!

6. ~Athleisure~ wear

athletic wear
Nordstrom Rack

A wise man once said: “When you are a man, sometimes you wear your stretchy pants in your room. It’s for fun.” That man was Nacho Libre, and heyoooo, girls wear stretchy pants for fun, too! Are you wearing athletic shorts and dirty hair because you just got out of the gym? Who knows. Athletic wear is cute and on-trend these days, making it totally acceptable for ladies to sport all of the spandex—whenever and wherever.

Who has two legs trapped in stiff fabric? Not fucking me.

Related-ish: 17 Pieces Of Lingerie Every Sexy Nerd Needs

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