5 People Who Made Us Say ‘Aw HELL Naw!’ This Week

It’s the end of the week, so it’s time to unwind, prepare for the weekend, and take a tally of who managed to piss us off the most throughout the course of the past seven days!

It wasn’t an easy task, but here are a few of the contenders. Also included are proposed punishments for their crimes against humanity.

Related-ish: Please Don’t Listen To This Man Telling You To Remove Your Engagement Ring During Job Interviews

1. Bruce Hurwitz

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Recently, Executive Recruiter and Career Counselor Bruce Hurwitz wrote an article on LinkedIn which advised female interviewees to remove their engagement rings during job interviews, as rings made them appear too “high maintenance.”

COOL, THANKS FOR YOUR OPINION, BRUCE.

Following the inevitable backlash, Hurwitz wrote a second article which advised both men and women on jewelry choices for professional interviews. However, Hurwitz still managed to let his misogyny shine through — he advised women to avoid diamond rings, as it made them appear too fussy and difficult, and told men that they should avoid expensive watches, as the accessories made them appear “too rich.”

Because men with expensive jewelry are successful and wealthy, and women with expensive jewelry are a pain in the ass. IT’S SCIENCE.

The kicker is that Hurwitx capitalized on all of the attention by publishing a third article, entitled How To Write A Viral Article On LinkedIn.

Thanks for all your unsolicited advice, Bruce! You sound like an HR complaint waiting to happen!

Proposed Punishment: Having diamond rings permanently welded to each of his fingers. 

2. Ann Coulter

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Oh, Ann Coulter. I imagine you’re on plenty of peoples’ shit lists at the end of any given week. However, you went above and beyond to make the cut for this particular shit list!

Coulter’s new book, In Trump We Trust, is a bizarre and (probably) desperate attempt to convince the American public to put their confidence (and, more importantly, their vote) in Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump (maybe you’ve heard of him?). In the book, Coulter addresses the critical remarks made about Trump, as well as his more controversial social gaffes — in particular, his “imitation” of disabled New York Times reporter Serge Kovaleski.

Coulter writes:

It’s true that Trump was not mimicking any mannerisms that Serge has. He doesn’t jerk around or flail his arms. He’s not retarded. He sits calmly, but if you look at his wrists, you’ll see they are curved in. That’s not the imitation Trump was doing—he was doing a standard retard, waving his arms and sounding stupid: “’Ahhh, I don’t know what I said—ahhh, I don’t remember!’ He’s going, ‘Ahhh, I don’t remember, maybe that’s what I said!’”

A “standard retard”??

Perhaps I shouldn’t be blaming Ann Coulter — perhaps I should be blaming whatever editor allowed this garbage phrasing to go to print.

Proposed Punishment: Having to be enthusiastic about Donald Trump. Oh, wait …

3. Jon Gosselin

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In an interview with ET Online, Jon Gosselin, of the decidedly creepy former reality show Jon And Kate Plus 8, decided to use the opportunity to air his grievances with his estranged kids — namely, his fifteen-year-old twin daughters, Mady and Cara.“Everybody used to come to my house,” Gosselin said. “You know, it was great, and then Madelyn and Cara just stopped coming, around 12 to 13 [years old]. I didn’t question it. I was just like, ‘Hey, do what you want, be with your friends,’ and then it just became they’re not coming.”

However, Mady and Cara responded to their dad’s comments this week, stating that Gosselin actually doesn’t seem terribly concerned with why his daughters stopped visiting.  “He makes it seem like we’re being kept from him, which is insane,” Mady tells People. “He should maybe spend some time thinking about why we don’t want to see him, and maybe realize that if he ever does want a relationship with us, talking about us on TV is not the way to make that happen …. He doesn’t even know us. How can he dare to talk about us?”

So, essentially: Jon Gosselin publicly dragged his kids in an interview to make himself look more sympathetic. Bad Dad Move.

Proposed Punishment: Working at T.G.I. Fridays is probably punishment enough, honestly. 

4. Milo Yiannopoulos

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In the comfy, liberal-minded world of media, it’s easy to convince ourselves that the world has made great strides in terms of racial acceptance and sexual inclusiveness. The recent harassment of Ghostbusters actress and comedian, Leslie Jones, proves that such notions are ostentatiously naive.

Jones has been the victim of online bullying since the all-female Ghostbusters reboot was announced, but the harassment reached a fever pitch last month when hordes of racist trolls attacked Jones on Twitter. One of the most prominent voices in the attacks was notorious douche-nozzle and Breitbart editor Milo Yiannopoulos, who was permanently suspended from Twitter.

Yiannopoulos is an icon for the contentious “alt right” movement, and his suspension from Twitter (most likely) prompted his supporters to take action on Wednesday by hacking Jones’ website and posting her private information — including her driver’s license, passport, and personal nude photos. Photos of Harambe, the gorilla who was fatally shot at the Cincinnati Zoo, were also posted at the top of Jones’ site (many trolls made hateful comments comparing Jones to a gorilla).

Yiannopoulos’ apparent response following the hack was notably cryptic. He snapchatted a photo of himself wearing shades, with the caption “Karma’s a bitch.”

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Yiannopoulos then quickly covered his ass by immediately snapchatting “Shit just heard about Leslie Jones. Had no idea!!! Ignore that karma thing lol.”

So, an Internet troll with terrible hair not only prompted his supporters to hack Leslie Jones, he then took the opportunity to gloat about it.

Proposed Punishment: Getting tangled up in his tacky silver necklaces forever and ever. 

5. Paramount Pictures

If you have seen the newly-released trailer for the Greg Kinnear and Renee Zellweger movie, Same Kind of Different As Me, then you understand why Paramount Pictures made my shit-list this week.

This movie looks like a singularly spectacular failure. Two southern white people rescue and rehabilitate a homeless black man (portrayed by, who somehow saves their marriage? Not only is this an incredibly offensive and dangerous trope to perpetuate in modern filmmaking I’m pretty sure this movie was already made — except, instead of a homeless black man, the dissatisfied white people rescued a dog.

And therein really lies the problem: Same Kind of Different As Me is lazily relying on the racist notion of the “Heroic White People” and the “Magical Negro” to create some sort of story arc that is, essentially, “We Rescued A Plot Device.” Hounsou’s vagrant appears to simply be a flat character whose existence in the film only serves to meet Kinnear and Zellweger’s characters’ needs.

This movie basically looks like a Nicholas Sparks story attempted to make some sort of relevant remark about race relations, while still being a Nicholas Sparks story — i.e., it looks like actual garbage.

Proposed Punishment: Having to watch Same Kind of Different As Me. 

Related-ish: 5 People Who Tried Too Hard To Make Fetch Happen This Week

 

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