I Researched What The F*ck To Eat During Your Period, So You Don’t Have To

You’re feeling shitty, so you check your period tracker. Goddamn it. It’s coming. Again. F*ck. You were invited to that awesome party this weekend but there’s no way your little black dress is going to fit with all that midriff inflation. You may as well cut a few holes through a black garbage bag and wear that to the party. Better yet, you can just skip it altogether and Netflix +Advil. This sucks.

But wait! I’m here to save your ass. That’s right! I’ve researched the shit out of what foods you can eat to help avoid PMS, bloating, and period irregularity before your red tide even begins. Don’t worry — I won’t go all “leafy greens” on you. Well, that’s a lie. I’m totally going to tell you to eat your greens. Sorry.

Related-ish: Period Hacks Every Woman Needs To Know


1. I’ll just get this out of the way: Leafy. Fucking. Greens.

Make yourself a large salad. Add nuts and seeds and a classy dressing. BAM. Why? The greens (as well as the nuts and seeds) are anti-inflammatory. They’re packed with calcium, iron, and fiber. They’ll help keep your digestive track happy AF.

2. Beans, beans — they’re good for your…period.

These black bean brownies are the bomb. You’ll get your fill of beans AND chocolate with these suckers, they taste amazing, and they’re super healthy. Beans can help reduce menstrual cramps and are packed with fiber. Beans FTW.

3. Dark chocolate. DARK.

Is there anything better than a lightly salted bar of dark chocolate? The reason you may crave chocolate during your period is because of its magnesium content. Magnesium helps reduce period pains, cuts down on headaches, and can minimize other PMS symptoms.

4. Nuts and seeds are the bomb.

Walnuts and chia seeds both contain Omega 3s which help relieve pain and are anti-inflammatory. Flax seeds help regulate your period. Yay predictability! Nuts and seeds are a good source of B vitamins which will help keep you awake at your damn desk.

5. Bananas are probably the best thing ever for you.


Don’t skip out on this one. Bananas are rich in vitamin B6 and potassium, which helps combat water retention and bloating. (Side note: bananas are clutch for hangovers, too).

6. Drink all the water.


Water keeps you hydrated. It reduces bloating and cramps. Let that sweet sweet water flow baby flow.

Related-ish: Pictures That Are Fucking Funny To Anyone Who’s Had A Period

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