If you woke up with a serious case of the Mondays today, it might be time to put things in perspective.
Here are some individuals who somehow managed to make things much worse for themselves this weekend, in full view of the general public.
Just be thankful you’re not one of them, mmkay?
1. Donald Trump
Depending on your political leanings, it’s likely that you believe Donald Trump fucks up every weekend. However, this weekend, the commander-in-chief made an undeniable screwup that very likely made people from both parties cringe.
In an attempt to tweet the statement “I hereby demand a second investigation, after Schumer, of Pelosi for her close ties to Russia and lying about it,” Trump misspelled the word “hereby” … twice.
I mean, yes, spelling mistakes are a reality of life. But when you’re the President, these mistakes hold slightly more weight, particularly if you make the same mistake multiple times in a row.
Apparently, Trump assumed he could delete a tweet, make a correction, and then tweet out a slightly different tweet without anyone noticing.
Fortunately for spelling sticklers everywhere, this was not the case. As a result, everyone got a satisfying laugh at the President’s comical gaffe before promptly bursting into tears at the knowledge that this man holds the highest elected office in the nation.
(And yes: I’m sure we will soon hear a speech about how the media is creating false spelling errors out of thin air, and are not to be trusted. Too bad that screenshots still exist.)
2. Roger Stone
Trump ally and supporter Roger Stone took an ill-advised jaunt on his Twitter feed Saturday night, which resulted in him lambasting a female Twitter user who dared to question Donald Trump’s baseless claims about Barack Obama tapping his phone lines during the 2016 election. “Do you know what libel is, Mr. Stone?” she asked.
Stone told the woman that he “would enjoy crush u in court and forcing you to eat shit — you stupid ignorant ugly bitch!”
(Which seems like fairly advanced grammar, for a Trump supporter.)
Stone went on to spew obscenities at other Twitter users who stood in the way of his paranoid rhetoric, and finished off the evening by saying that he enjoyed calling out “liberal jerk offs on twitter.”
Sorry, but anyone who is spurting out this much word vomit in a single sitting is clearly having a mental meltdown — which, I’m pretty sure, qualifies as having a “rough weekend.”
3. Hillary Clinton
On Thursday, news broke about Vice President Pence using a private email server during his stint as governor of Indiana. During this period, his private email account was actually hacked.
(Oh, and did I mention it was an AOL email account?)
Considering the controversy over Hillary Clinton’s private email server was one of the main conservative arguments against her presidential qualifications, the internet couldn’t wait to gauge Clinton’s reaction to the news.
Her reaction? Well, if the face she’s making as she reads the newspaper headline is any indication, her reaction is: “WHAT BULLSHIT IS THIS.”
So, perhaps it’s vindication that Hillary got to spend the weekend hearing about someone else’s email scandal, for once — but, considering the individual in question won the election by using the same kind of scandal against Clinton, it’s more likely that the news was bittersweet at best.
4. Louis Tomlinson
One Direction star Louis Tomlinson was traveling with his girlfriend through the LAX airport on Friday evening when he was apparently harassed by paparazzi. Tomlinson subsequently got into a physical altercation with the photographers and was arrested. He has since been released, but is set to appear in court later this month, on March .
So, not only did he get yelled at and insulted by what was basically a group of strangers attempting to snap photos of him, but he also got arrested? Sounds like a pretty shitty Friday night to me.
5. This Guy Who Joked About Being A Serial Killer On A First Date
This guy on Reddit apparently experienced the worst possible end to a date when he joked about being a serial killer and a squad car showed up.
As the Redditor in question tells it, the whole thing was a joking remark blown completely out of proportion:
So after the food arrives the conversation turns a little more towards how we met (pay close attention and you will spot my mistake). She states she’s glad I’m normal and not some sort of serial killer.
Now I could have just laughed… I could have but I was funny remember? I replied with “Oh thanks for thinking I’m normal! But I actually am a serial killer, bodies for days buried out at the farm.”
She laughed, I laughed, I thought I did great at making it sound sarcastic.
She excuses herself to the bathroom to do whatever girls do in bathrooms on dates. It was taking a questionably long time for her to return and I was slightly worried she bailed and stuck me with the bill, my luck right? Wrong.
So unbelievably wrong, my luck was worse as police officers suddenly appear out of nowhere and tell me to keep both of my hands visible on the table.
Yep. The girl had called the cops on her date, whom she assumed was a serial killer. Fortunately, her date was able to talk his way out of the situation:
I’m in the car and the police are outside talking to my date for a few minutes when they get into the car with me and ask me if I told my date I was a serial killer, areyoufuckingkiddingme…
I tell them yes but I was joking.
LPT: Don’t admit to police you told someone you were a serial killer.
So that derailed my plans, I spent the next 5-6 hours explaining myself over and over and over that I was kidding.
I guess eventually they either believed me or got tired of hearing me speak much to my lawyers disapproval (to me speaking) and let me go and reminded me that my jokes suck.
So, lesson learned: either don’t make jokes about being a serial killer, or don’t go on dates with people who don’t share your sense of humor.