Some people’s biggest fear is that things will start to feel a little monotonous, while others worry that everything will change too much. The realization that you’re making life decisions with another person for the rest of your life can also be a bit scary.
Fortunately, if you’re married to the right person everything just keeps getting better. Here are some funny things to expect during your first year of forever.
1. After your honeymoon you won’t be productive for a while.
Zero fucks will be given and you will not be able to focus at work for at least another month.
2. You’ll accidentally forget your identity if you change you name.
Not recognizing your own initials is real.
3. You have to choose which side of the family you like more.
Who is going to see you over the holidays?
4. Your parents will want another generation ASAP.
“I’m not getting any younger. I’d like my grandkids to remember me.” – Mom
5. You won’t know what to do with your wedding dress.
You will either spend way too much money to put it in a box forever (because your daughter, if you end up having one won’t want it anyway), leave it hanging in your closet for years or just grow the balls to give it away.
6. If you’re a woman, people will think you’re pregnant all of the time.
“Oh you’re sick? It must be morning sickness.”
7. You’ll forget how to spell and your hand will feel like it’s falling off at some point.
Thanks to thank you notes.
8. If you combine bank accounts there might be mixed emotions.
Someone will most likely feel rich and the other will feel broke.
9. You will giggle at saying “husband” or “wife” during an introduction.
You will laugh at least 40 times before it feels somewhat normal.
10. Your house will become divided, but it’s not what you think.
The Bachelorette is on and so is Monday night football… Fuck.
11. You will get slap happy.
There will nights when someone can’t sleep. If you bust out the popcorn and whiskey, you will not regret your decision.
12. You’ll have quite a few “out-of-the-norm” sexy times.
Thanks to your bachelorette party gifts.