It’s finally the weekend again, folks and we could not be more excited to share a whole slew of new Amazon products with you. Whether you’re looking for pleasure or a good laugh, the deviant corners of this online shopping site never fail to disappoint. So, switch that browser to incognito grab a glass of wine and get to surfing. We won’t judge.
1. This Utimi remote control silicone 10-speed vibrator for couples
The first product on our list this week is a remote controlled couples’ vibrator and it honestly looks like a character from a Pixar movie. Though that comparison may have just turned you off completely, the reviews on this toy are sure to have you dragging it over to your shopping cart. “Great product, would recommend. came so quickly. And had sex with her afterwards.Gave it 10 stars.”
Get it on Amazon for $28.49
2. This original toilet mug
If you’ve been on the hunt for the perfect coffee mug to take to work, look no further than this toilet mug. Though I could never stomach using it, I’m sure it would make for a great conversation starter. “Yes, I do enjoy drinking my coffee like it’s literal shit from a toilet.”
Get it on Amazon for $12.99
3. This pair of boobs that grow in water
Remember those toys we would play with as kids that let you grow your own dinosaur or animal by soaking a small tablet in water? This is a similar idea except a slightly more grownup version. Because growing fake boobs is a thing now…
Get it on Amazon for $5.99
4. This adult alphabet book
You may think you know your ABC’s, but we guarantee you never learned them quite like this. Introducing, the adult alphabet book with phrases like “A is for Anus” and all other sorts of sexual nonsense.
Get it on Amazon for $9.99
5. This “stamina training” Fleshlight
The next item on our list is a fancy AF Fleshlight. How do we know it’s fancy? Because the seller felt the need to put the product in a damn tree. WHY? Is Fleshy on an adventure? Is someone masturbating in a tree? I’m at a loss. However, the product reviews are quite promising. “I like this one in particular because of the knobby texture on the inside and I like how the lips and everything look.”
Get it on Amazon for $56.74
6. This Love Stinks fart relief mask
Finally! Where has this ingenious invention been hiding all these years? Ladies, we no longer have to endure the toxic fumes expelled from our loved ones’ derrieres. Thank, god. Whoever created this, bless you.
Get it on Amazon for $11.95
7. These Peckermints penis-shaped breath mints
These penis-shaped mints are not only a great breath-freshener, but they also serve as a fun way to spice up your oral activities. But you didn’t hear that from me…
Get it on Amazon for $8.31
8. This men’s sexy collared bow tie bodysuit thong
If you’ve been watching too much Magic Mike lately, this product might be right up your alley. Though not many can pull off this look, it would be entertaining to see at the very least. Apparently one reviewer is really reaping the benefits of their purchase however, “my spouse cannot stop talking about how much she loves me package, stating ‘it looks so big, i can see through the white, can i have some baby’ very good for the adventurous couple.” Well damn.
Get it on Amazon for $9.59
9. This periodic table of sex positions
Tbh, one of my roommates in college had this poster and it never failed to inspire some unnecessary conversation when we had visitors over. “Let’s try this and this and this….” How about no? Though, for those of you who may have more stamina than others, this could serve for some creative explorations in the bedroom.*Wink*
Get it on Amazon for $8.50
10. These collar to wrist restraints
Whether you are a seasoned BDSM enthusiast or perhaps a beginner wishing to dabble in the kinky world of restraints and bondage, this product is an excellent purchase. According to the product description, “the comfortable padding and secure, durable material mean that you can keep your plaything captive for as long as you desire.” Well, then.
Get it on Amazon for $21.96
11. This “Need Head” novelty t-shirt
Jesus, can we not? If I saw someone wearing this shirt I would definitely laugh, but only after throwing up a bit first. However, the product does have a solid 5-star rating on Amazon. Gee, I wonder who purchased it…
Get it on Amazon for $14.99
12. This 2-pack of Gummy Peckers
So, we totally had some of these sent to our office recently and they’re actually pretty damn delicious. Not to mention, they’re significantly larger than your typical gummy bear. Just try it out, you’ll thank us later.
Get it on Amazon for $13.99
13. This discrete novelty lipstick vibrator
Last, but certainly not least is this clever incognito vibrator disguised as a tube of lipstick. Why not have a little pleasure on-the-go…I guess? With a 5-star rating, all one customer could say was, “loved it.”
Get it on Amazon for $11.99