If you woke up with a serious case of the Mondays today, it might be time to put things in perspective.
Here are some individuals who had a much rougher weekend than you did, and probably need a pretty stiff drink right about now — so stop your whining and just be thankful, mmkay?
1. Kendall Jenner
Last week, Pepsi released its infamous, tone-deaf, commercial which appropriated protest imagery and inadvertently became an instant meme. However, it appears that Kendall Jenner, is the one allegedly suffering the most extreme emotional repercussions from the backlash.
“(Kendall) is really traumatized over the Pepsi backlash,” a source apparently told Hollywood Life. “She had such high hopes for it, and now she’s terrified she will never work again or become a laughing stock … This has been very painful and embarrassing to her.”
Sorry, Kendall. The tedium of being rich, famous and beautiful must really come at a price.
2. The Chinese President
Recently, the Chinese president was obligated to visit the United States and make nice with Donald Trump and his whole, smug brood — which included sitting through a mini concert, courtesy of Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner’s children.
As Lauren Evans reports for Jezebel:
You know how much you hate it when colleagues or total strangers bully you into looking at photos of their kids? Of course you do; it’s awful. Imagine, then, the pain felt by Chinese President Xi Jinping and his wife, Peng Liyuan, both of whom were forced to endure a mandatory performance by Trump’s eldest grandkids during their trip to Mar-A-Lago.
Though President Xi Jinping was too polite to fully express his discomfort, there is absolutely no way that the Chinese president enjoyed sitting through this shameless display.
My condolences to the Chinese president and his wife. This sort of situation clearly requires more patience than I possess.
3. Bill O’Reilly
Recently, a New York Times article was published which revealed that $13 million had been paid to five different women over the past decade who accused conservative talkshow host Bill O’Reilly of sexual harassment. As a result, 60 different companies have pulled their ads from O’Reilly’s Fox News show, The O’Reilly Factor.
Though O’Reilly has denied the veracity of the accusations, that didn’t keep the ever-reliable Saturday Night Live from mocking O’Reilly with a brutal skit, involving two iterations of Alec Baldwin as both O’Reilly and Donald Trump.
The influx of criticism is almost enough to make you feel sorry for O’Reilly and his depressing flirtatious endeavors … almost.
4. Jared Kushner
Recently, Donald Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner ventured to Iraq with Joint Chiefs Chairman General Joseph Dunford.
According to The Daily Beast, Kushner was there “to meet with Iraqi leaders, senior U.S. advisers, and visit with U.S. forces in the field to receive an update on the status of the counter-ISIS campaign in Iraq and Syria.” However, Kushner’s chosen attire and general air during his Iraq visit was subject to considerable scrutiny, courtesy of Twitter. People couldn’t restrain themselves from mocking Kushner and his straight-edge blazer during the trip.
Next time, read the room, Kushner.
5. Whoever Found A Dead Bat In Their Salad
Two innocent diners in Florida suffered a rather unfortunate culinary encounter this weekend when they opened their prepackaged salad: they found a half-deteriorated bat, nestled in the edible leaves.
The salad purveyors, Fresh Express, apparently issued a recall for the lot of its Organic Marketside Spring Mix as a result of the bat-related incident.
According to USA Today:
Fresh Express urged anybody who bought that specific lot to throw it out. The CDC said people who had already eaten salad from that lot and found “animal material” in their greens should contact their local health department immediately.
I don’t know how the fuck a bat wound up in anyone’s prepackaged salad, but I’m sure that the explanation is both convoluted and disgusting.