5 People Who Made Us Say ‘Aw, HELL Naw!’ This Week

It seems like not a week goes by without somebody pulling some lame or tasteless shenanigans that make us say, in unison, “Wait, what?

Because if there’s one thing you can count on public figures for, it’s an endless stream of social gaffes, questionable choices, and tweets they definitely regretted in the morning.

Here are just a few folks who made this week’s list of unfortunate life choices. Let’s collectively learn from their unfortunate errors, shall we?

1. Mark Green

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In case you were unaware, Tennessee state senator Mark Green is Donald Trump’s pick for the next Army secretary. He was part of the team responsible for capturing Sadam Hussein. However, this week, it came to light that Green once drew a rather unfortunate comparison between the Iraqi dictator and the people who ogle Victoria’s Secret models.

Video surfaced of Green speaking at a church in 2015, advising the congregation on how to avoid the “downward spiral” of Saddam Hussein. That’s the process of how you get to Saddam Hussein, is you take one little step away from the truth,” he says in the footage. “You break your conscience just a little bit. You walk away and you look at that Victoria’s Secrets (sic) catalogue when you know you probably shouldn’t. And it’s one step away from God, and it’s one step closer to Saddam Hussein.”

Oh, okay, sure, that makes sense, becau— oh wait, NO IT DOESN’T.

Comparing those who have lustful thoughts about lingerie models with SADDAM HUSSEIN is not only a stretch, it’s on the verge of bat-shit lunacy. But, If Mark Green wants to flagellate himself every time a scantily woman appears before his eyeballs, that’s his business.

2. The Celebrities Smoking In The Bathroom At The Met

During the Met Gala this past Monday, a group of celebs took it upon themselves to post up in the bathroom, take selfies and apparently vape and/or smoke cigarettes. These celebrities included “Bella Hadid, Dakota Johnson, Rami Malek, Marc Jacobs, Courtney Love, and Frances Bean Cobain, among others,” according to the New York Daily News. Naturally, some people were pissed about this, as smoking indoors is strictly forbidden at the gala, due to the collections housed there that require a smoke-free environment.

Look, I get it — you’re a celebrity, you’re at the Met Gala, and you’re just categorically Way Too Cool For This Shit.

But, here’s the thing: you’re still in a fucking museum, you pieces of trash. Pull it together, go outside, and stop treating the METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART like it’s your high school bathroom.

3. David Eastman

This state representative from Alaska made a comment this week which seemingly implied that women in his state procure abortions specifically for the free travel.

Yes, I’m serious.

“You have individuals who are in villages and are glad to be pregnant, so that they can have an abortion because there’s a free trip to Anchorage involved,” he said in an interview (in reference to Medicaid-funded travel for abortions).

No, he could not name any specific examples. But he was pretty sure they existed.

4. The Jury Who Convicted Desiree Fairooz

Desiree Fairooz gained unexpected notoriety when she was arrested for laughing aloud during a Jan. 10 confirmation hearing for Alabama Sen. Jeff Sessions. This week, a jury found the 61-year-old to be guilty, facing up to a year in prison and a $2,000 fine.

All of this for laughing … at a man.

Fairooz explained her side of the story to Jezebel:

So when Sen. Shelby said something to the effect of (Sessions) would defend all Americans, I found that statement ridiculous. It was absurd, because his history shows otherwise.

At that point, I could not hold in my chortle. I just thought it was crazy. I don’t regret having laughed. At the moment, I didn’t think anything was going to happen. Then a few seconds passed and then and then a young officer comes over to me and she says, “Come with me, ma’am,” and I said, “Why? I’m going to be quiet,” and she called over other officers and she tried to physically lift me and I was refusing to go. At that point, that’s when they created disturbance by bringing over other police officers. I was charged with parading, but they paraded me. It was maddening.

The whole thing seems like a severe overreaction to someone expressing what is, essentially her freedom of speech. Even if Fairooz was disrupting the proceedings, shouldn’t removing her from the chamber be sufficient punishment? Why go through sending her to jail or fining her for laughing at Jeff Sessions? (Who, let’s be fair, kind of deserves to be laughed at?)

The whole thing is, to use Fairooz’s word: maddening.

5. People Who Are Using iPhones To Blend Their Makeup

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Yes. This is a thing now. There were bra inserts, condoms, hardboiled eggseven testicles — and now this.

People are using the backs of their smartphones to blend their liquid makeup, and the whole thing is utterly obnoxious. First, do you really want to be smearing makeup all over a $700 phone? Second, do you even realize how many germs accumulate on your phone throughout the day? Rubbing it all over your face might be an ill-advised idea.

Y’all cheap-asses just buy a freaking makeup sponge! Damn!

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