While women are often considered super clingy, the truth is that guys are just as bad… if not even worse. If you’re ever felt like the guy you were dating was ridiculously clingy, you’re probably not alone. So what happens when he acts like cling wrap and you haven’t even gone out with him yet? Here’s how to know if he’s too clingy before the first date:
1. He wants to talk forever and ever on a dating app.
You know the rules of dating apps: chat as much as you need to and then make a plan ASAP. You want a boyfriend, not a friend (and especially not an online friend). If a guy asks you out or you ask him out (hello, 2017), it’s really weird if he wants to keep talking on the app after you’ve made a plan. It just is.
2. He double messages (the online version of double texting).
Okay, so this isn’t a real thing, but it should be since it happens when a guy is super clingy. He doesn’t wait for you to respond, he just keeps messaging. He expects you to answer immediately and doesn’t seem to get that you’re not always attached to your phone. This is not only clingy, it’s pretty creepy.
3. He is way too enthusiastic about making the plan.
Sure, you don’t want the guy to say, “I guess I’ll go out with you, I have nothing better to do.” You don’t want him to act like this is the best thing ever, either. That’s a little bit much and that’s a sign that he’s super clingy. If he’s really enthusiastic, you might want to steer clear.
4. He confirms several times.
It’s pretty normal in this online dating day and age to confirm before the first date. You often make a plan several days or even a week in advance thanks to everyone’s crazy busy schedules. Whether you like to text a guy the morning of and ask if you’re still on or wait for him to do that, you want to know that you’re not going to be stood up. If this guy confirms several times — a few days before, the day before, the morning of and even (in the worst cases) that afternoon — you really want to run far away.
5. He texts about the details of the date.
There aren’t really any details that you have to deal with in a first date situation. You pick the time and place and that’s about it. A guy who wants to talk about what he’s going to order or even how long he can stay is really not someone that you want to date. Just think how much more neurotic he would be if you actually were in a relationship.
6. He’s a texting machine.
Kind of goes without saying and yet it still needs to be said. Some guys barely use their phones. Others can’t live without them. No matter what kind of texter this guy is, he shouldn’t be messaging you a ton before you’ve even gone on the first date. If you met via a dating app, you talked about everything that you had to in order to know if you wanted to meet him in person. There should be nothing left to say until you’re sitting across from each other.
7. He’s emoji happy.
Emojis are really fun and sometimes they make life worth living. You’re really glad that the coffee and avocado emojis exist since those are your favorite things. Emojis in a dating situation? That’s another story. Guys who are emoji happy tend to be more immature and clingy than guys who hate texting. You want to watch out for someone who sends you a ton of emojis before you’ve even met him (especially if he loves the happy face one with heart eyes — ugh).
8. He asks you first date questions.
Where did you grow up? What was your childhood like? Where do you see yourself in five years? Where are you traveling next? These are pretty standard first date questions. Sometimes you chat about this stuff before but you really focus on getting to know each other when you’re sitting at a table in a bar. It’s not a good sign if a guy asks you first date questions before you actually go on the first date. He should be able to wait.
9. He treats you like you’re already his girlfriend.
When this happens, you might not even realize it at first because it’s weird AF. He asks how your day is going, he asks what you’re up to, and he updates you on his schedule that day. If you’re his GF, that’s totally normal. If you haven’t even gone out with him yet, you probably don’t want to since this just proves how completely clingy he is.
10. He talks beyond the first date.
You have literally just made the plan for your first date and this guy is already planning the next few dates. He brings up wanting to see a certain movie with you. He mentions a restaurant you can go to at some point. He generally freaks you out. While you may wonder if he’s just a nice guy and that it’s refreshing that someone is interested in commitment, this is too much. Save your first dates for the guys who know to make a plan… and can actually wait to meet you in person.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor. She shares gluten-free, dairy-free recipes and personal stories on her food blog, ahealthystory.com. She loves coffee, barre classes and pop culture.