There are many reasons why people stay in relationships they’re unhappy with—sometimes it’s for comfort or necessity or even fear and other times, they may not even be aware that they’re settling for less than they need.
If you find yourself struggling to figure out whether or not you’re truly satisfied with your partner, take yourself through these list of signs and if any of them ring true, it might be time to move on.
1. You stop wanting to be your best self.
Having a happy and healthy relationship usually motivates us to be the best version of ourselves. When that desire to be positive and work hard at keeping the relationship going begins to dissipate, it’s a surefire sign that you may not be with the right person.
2. You no longer put energy into your appearance.
This one’s a biggie. If you find yourself not putting energy into how you look—not because you feel comfortable, but because you simply don’t care—maybe you quit shaving or only wear sweats because “it doesn’t matter anyway”, then it may be time for some serious reevaluating.
3. Once endearing traits become increasingly annoying.
Remember when you first started seeing your significant other and their unique habits, seemed so adorable? Like, the way they mispronounced certain words or would maybe call you buy a sweet pet name. When those once endearing characteristics start becoming the most annoying and obnoxious parts about your partner, it’s probably a good idea to rethink your relationship status.
4. You find yourself noticing other people more.
Even in the best relationships, we notice other attractive people around us—it’s only natural, BUT if you find yourself longingly checking out every other person that crosses your path, that’s a different story. Looking for something else is a tell-tale sign that you’re not satisfied with what you have.
5. The thought of hanging out with your SO seems exhausting.
A pretty obvious way to tell that you’re settling in your relationship is when you lose the desire to spend time with your SO. The thought of getting together with them just seems so exhausting and you’d much rather have a night to yourself with a bottle of wine and some Netflix.
6. You’re never really in “the mood” anymore.
Tbh, this was what finally made me realize I needed to get out of a past relationship. It’s not that the other person is necessarily doing anything wrong when it comes to the bedroom, but you just don’t have the same sex drive towards them as you used to. You’d rather they didn’t bring it up. *Big red flag*
7. Your partner and their needs become less of a priority.
Like anyone, you probably have a pretty busy lifestyle and are consistently juggling several things at once. When your relationship is making you happy, things just kind of fall into place and they provide a relief from your daily stresses. Once you find yourself pushing them to the bottom of your priority list and not giving their feelings a second thought, it’s probably time to set them free.
8. You keep trying to rationalize with yourself and others why you’re with them.
The other people in your life who are close to you such as your friends and family have likely noticed that you are unhappy, but when they approach you about your relationship issues, you continue to make excuses and attempt to convince them (and yourself) that everything is just fine. If you find yourself continually making the same argument, it might be time to stop fighting.
9. You take forever to respond to their texts and sometimes don’t reply at all.
This is another glaring sign that you’re settling—not responding to texts or other forms of communication from your SO. Remember the days when you’d be over the moon to see a text or a missed phone call from them? And now you cringe or get annoyed and mute the alert. That’s not fair to them or to you.
10. You find yourself starting fights and being unnecessarily difficult.
If you’re typically the easy going couple who will do pretty much anything to avoid a nasty argument, but are lately finding the smallest things to fight over, you may be stirring up trouble for a reason. Your unhappiness with the relationship may be buried, but it’s bound to overflow at some point.
11. You feel trapped, but are scared to be alone.
Lastly, if you have been feeling a sense of confinement like you can’t escape the situation because the alternative—being single—is too terrifying, do not ignore this. I know how scary it can be to breakup with someone and potentially lose them from your life altogether, but forcing something that isn’t meant to be is so much worse.