You know that Tinder can be about more than hooking up, but sadly, lots of people are on only there for an ego stroke. A study by LendEDU surveyed 9,761 college students and found that 44 percent of them use Tinder as “confidence-boosting procrastination.” Yikes. Here are 13 signs the guy you’re chatting to is only in it for his ego:
1. He puts gym selfies on his profile.
Nothing says “look at me!” like a ton of gym selfies showing his almost-naked body on Tinder. A picture is the first thing users see on the app, so he’s trying to get as many compliments and right swipes as he can. It’s a numbers game.
2. His chats get sexual in five seconds.
You start talking to a guy on Tinder and within a message or two, he’s getting sexual. If he’s hot and he knows it, he’s probably hoping to get some action without even leaving his bedroom or he just wants to know that you’re available for a hookup in real life.
3. He ends chats just as fast as he starts them.
One minute you were chatting and flirting, the next he’s out of the picture. WTF? He’s the “swipe and run” guy who likes to connect with interesting women and then disappear just so he can see what kind of women he can pull. He’s after the chase and nothing more.
4. He says he’s just “looking.”
He might really be curious about Tinder, but when he says he’s just casually looking to see what’s out there yet he’s super charming and posting loads of selfies, he’s putting in lots of effort to get as much attention as he can.
5. He focuses on your appearance.
You can tell that a guy who’s just keen to focus on your hot looks is probably hoping for a hookup, but he might also just be keen for some flirtation without even wanting to meet in real life. Girlfriend alert!
6. He’s just out of a bad breakup.
He might be clear that he’s not looking for anything serious because he’s just out of a really traumatic breakup, so basically, he’s either hoping to chat with women to increase his self-esteem or hook up with lots of meaningless connections to forget his ex — or both! Whatever the case, he’s a waste of time.
7. He’s been on the app for ages and hasn’t met anyone.
If he’s been on the app for months but hasn’t met anyone to go on a date with, warning bells should ring, especially if he’s a really attractive guy with an interesting profile. What’s the deal? He’s just into talking with beautiful women to get his kicks. Heck, that perfect profile might even be fake.
8. He keeps changing his profile pic.
Every time you talk to the guy on Tinder, he’s changed his profile pic. Ugh. It’s like he’s desperate to show people how gorgeous he is by posting tons of selfies. In reality, he just comes across as desperate.
9. He wants any attention, even the negative kind.
He wants attention at any price, so he’ll be weird or super funny even if it means making a fool of himself by Photoshopping himself into a burrito. He’s not taking this thing seriously and hopes that by making women laugh, he’ll at least get some right swipes to flatter his ego.
10. He asks if you’d go out with him.
When chatting to a guy who seems really nice, it’s an immediate turn-off when he asks you questions like “Would you go on a date with me?” or “Would you sleep with me?” But then he doesn’t actually make plans to meet or hook up, even though asking if you would is a quick way to get him blocked. Ugh, what an attention-seeking loser.
11. He sends long messages.
Sometimes he’ll send you long strings of text on Tinder, especially when you don’t reply to him quickly, but then when you want to chat, he doesn’t engage. WTF? He just wants attention at certain times, like when he’s bored AF during a work meeting or on a Saturday night when he’s home with man flu.
12. He brags constantly about his life.
This is almost as bad as the guy who’s addicted to posting selfies. This kind of guy loves to connect with women just to brag about his life: his career promotion, the car he drives (he might even post a car selfie — vomit), how he loves to work out to keep his six-pack, and so on. He thinks by bragging, he’ll get that attention he so desperately needs.
13. He uses Tinder when he’s overseas.
When you ask him about his Tinder experiences, he says he likes to use the dating app when he travels to foreign countries. Hmm, interesting. In foreign countries, he doesn’t have to talk much to the women he picks up and can easily score without anyone back home knowing. Best of all, he can get an ego boost whenever he wants without any consequences. He’s clearly just in it for quick fun without real connections. Don’t just swipe left, delete the guy!
Giulia is a freelance writer living in Johannesburg, South Africa. She writes for local and international websites, with a special interest in writing about dating. In her spare time, she can be found blissed out in a bookstore or writing fiction of her own. She loves Oscar Wilde, organic beauty products and Italian food.