When you’re single again after ending in a serious long-term relationship, it’s not as bad as you thought it would be… at least at first. Things quickly go from a 24/7 party to a pity party when you realize you’ve been on your own for longer than you anticipated. If you’re single AF, then these 9 things are no longer fun — they actually suck:
1. Being responsible only for yourself
It’s awesome when you realize that you’re only in charge of your own time. You can plan a vacation without worrying about your boyfriend’s work schedule, take as many evening classes as you want, and keep your eye on the prize (whatever that means to you). After a while, though, you start to wish that you had someone to worry about because that would mean that you had someone in your life that means a lot to you.
2. Being free to do whatever you want, whenever you want
This is the number one reason why you’re supposed to love the single life. You’re supposed to turn your nose up at couples who have obligations like going to each other’s family Christmas parties. Sure, when you’re newly solo, you totally relish your newfound freedom. It’s only when you find yourself alone for a long time that you start to hate being so free.
3. Sprawling on the couch watching your latest Netflix obsession
At first, this is a glorious way to spend your free evenings. Why wouldn’t you want to watch as much Netflix as you want? The longer this describes your nights, the more you hate it. You would love to have a boyfriend to go for drinks or dinner whenever you feel like it… or just to have someone by your side when the new season of Stranger Things comes out.
4. Filling up your free time with work
You love your career and work hard every day to make your goals and dreams come true. You wouldn’t want to stop hustling even if you found love. The truth is that work is a trap when you’re solo. You use it to cheer yourself up, to distract yourself, and as an excuse for why you’re not dating anyone. After a lot of weekends spent working by choice, you start to long for more of a love life.
5. Doing everything by yourself
There’s nothing wrong with being self-sufficient. In fact, it’s one of the best things about being single. You’d rather die then lean on someone else and you’re proud of yourself for stepping up to the plate. And yet, there are so many things you would love to share with someone else. You dream of doing the dishes standing next to your boyfriend at the kitchen sink, of laughing at his jokes at the grocery store, of bringing him to all the fun and boring parties you get invited to… Never having a plus-one gets super old.
6. Telling hilarious and horrifying dating stories
These are your lifeline when you’re newly single. If you can make your best friend laugh about the guy who walked away without saying goodbye (or if you can even make yourself smile), you’re making up for all the crappy evenings. You don’t think that you’ll ever get sick of swapping bad date stories but then one day, it happens. You long for the good first date (and second… and third) that’ll turn you from a single girl to a girlfriend.
7. Hating on Valentine’s Day
You pity the poor women who long for roses and chocolate on February 14th. You think that love should be a year-round thing and this is merely a Hallmark holiday. Well, at least that’s what you think when you’re still enjoying being single. Once you get over that, you’d definitely be down with celebrating V-Day with the one that you love, and you hate not having anyone to kiss on the big day (even if you’d never admit it).
8. Feeling smug about couple drama and relationship problems
It’s liberating to realize that when your BFF tells you that her boyfriend doesn’t spend enough time with her, you don’t have to deal with that. You don’t have to coordinate crazy busy schedules or stress about not moving to the next level or anything that couples face. Then a switch flips and you would kill for all that relationship stress because it would mean that you had finally found someone to love.
9. Writing a bucket list
You figure that you don’t know how long you’re going to be on your own, so you might as well make the most of it. You’re going to take all the solo trips you can afford, find some new hobbies, and make some new friends. The longer you’re on your single journey, you more you start to think that you would trade all of these new experiences for an actual relationship. That’s the moment that you know you’re done with being single AF. Now, if only the right guy would show up…
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor. She shares gluten-free, dairy-free recipes and personal stories on her food blog, ahealthystory.com. She loves coffee, barre classes and pop culture.