Dating is basically the relationship version of blind taste testing. The first is never the best and sometimes we have to make up reasons for people who leave a bad taste in our mouths. Like these Redditors, who shared the pettiest reasons they had for ending a relationship and the reasons are hilariously trivial.
1. Kysbu just wanted some sleep.
I wanted to go home and take a nap, and this was the easiest way to get out.
2. Stinks_McGee’s girl got in a fight with the sky.
She yelled at the sky because it was raining. Angrily. And with purpose.
3. emthejedichic’s guy made up some seriously strange stories.
It wasn’t a relationship yet, we were just talking, but he started saying more and more far fetched stuff that made him look good. Final straw was when he said he helped Carly Rae Jepson write Call Me Maybe.
4. FuckedupUnicorn just wants someone who knows how to dress themselves.
He tucked his shirt into his underwear
5. It all started with a stuffed animal for regdayrf2.
I made a bed for her stuffed animal inside a shelf. It was meant as an act of kindness. She noticed, that her “Cody” was missing and immediately accused me. She threw a fit about me throwing her stuffed animal away.
6. Nocoolnamesleft10 couldn’t make eye contact any longer.
Even after I showed her the bed in the shelf, the dispute was not resolved. We seperated shortly afterwards.
Reason why there was no 3rd date: his level of unflinching eye contact really weirded me out. I went on the 2nd date because even though I was weirded out, I thought it was petty reason and I’d get over it. Nope. That damn Rasputin stare was what did it.
7. Al_on_reddit found out why he was dumped later.
A girl who dumped me after two weeks told her friend she’d left because I had used the word “melancholy” three times in a sentence.
8. elewis342 couldn’t deal with his excitement.
He used too many exclamation points in his text messages.
9. One terrible comment was all it took for BelgarathTheSorcerer.
Was dating a girl for a few months, and when I told her that I had been watching a bunch of Muhammad Ali videos lately, she responded with “That guy who did 9/11?”
It was all downhill from there.
10. Canonconstructor couldn’t handle his slang.
He used improper grammar in text messages. “WAT r u doin 2nite?” I literally couldn’t.
11. Youtube did it for mynameis_neo.
Every time I went over to their place, they insisted on showing me YouTube videos that a) I’d already seen, b) made me realize our senses of humor were vastly different.
12. limits660 wasn’t cool with her bowel movements.
Had a girl that didn’t flush for some reason after taking a shit. Done
13. InhalingHelium couldn’t handle the love.
He wouldn’t stop spamming me with the heart eye emoji. I couldn’t take it anymore. I fucking hate that emoji now
14. Groomper likes his food more than her.
Stole food from my plate one too many times.
15. It all ended after the famous dress confusion for mprhusker.
Dated a girl for a bit over 4 years and our relationship ended when we disagreed over the color of that white gold/blue black dress.
16. chittyshwimp wanted to be the favorite.
This girl had her ex higher than me on her top 8 on MySpace.
17. Babyrabievaccine couldn’t get over this guy’s head size.
He had a slightly larger than normal head. It looked like a bobble head. I couldn’t focus while he was talking because the disproportionate difference between his headband neck weirded me out.
18. Count-Dorklok is serious about his TV shows.
Spoiled the end of Breaking Bad
19. CydneeV got broken up with for the most bizarre reason.
I was dumped because I brought over morning bagels. He immediately got out the food processor and turned them into bread crumbs because bringing over breakfast was taking things too fast.