Nobody’s perfect. The longer you’re in a relationship, the clearer this adage becomes. However, many would agree that being in love is learning to accept the other person for who they are, and not taking them on as a “project.”
Perhaps that’s why one man’s recent Facebook confession about his preoccupation with his girlfriend’s weight has managed to go incredibly viral over the past week.
On October 26, Humans of New York shared a photo on its Facebook page of an anonymous man who was interviewed in Union Square. The guy’s face was omitted from the photo — but it was the quote used by HoNY which really grabbed Facebook’s attention.
The Humans of New York caption reads:
“At first I told myself I could get past it. I said, ‘Let’s just see how it goes.’ We had excellent dates. Everything else about her was exactly what I wanted. I didn’t want to ruin something good for that one little reason. But it’s been 1.5 years. And I feel horrible, but I just can’t get past it. And I feel like a bad person for being bothered by it. I can’t bring myself to tell her. We’re going to couple’s therapy next week, but I still don’t think I’ll be able to say it. Is there any right way to ask someone to lose weight for you?”
Rather than reassuring the unnamed man that his behavior was understandable and human, commenters pointed out that he was actually being rather selfish and that his girlfriend deserved better.
While it might seem harsh to shame a guy for opening up about his honest feelings, it’s also important for him to realize that, if this was a problem for him from the beginning, then he’s been more or less leading this woman on for a year and a half. Why become involved with a woman and win her love if you weren’t sure whether or not you could actually love her back? The whole thing just feels like a selfish way to have your cake and eat it too.
Just let your girlfriend be with someone who’ll love her for who she is! It’s even worse if you keep her from finding true happiness while you’re busy brooding over whether or not you’re being shallow. (And, allow me to save you the suspense: you are being shallow.)
Also, as several commenters pointed out, wearing cargo pants while you critique your girlfriend’s appearance is perhaps the most ironic juxtaposition possible.
I honestly hope he called everything off before it actually came to couple’s therapy — that sh*t is expensive, and I think it’s pretty clear that both he and his girlfriend (okay, maybe just his girlfriend) will be happier apart.