It’s happened. You’ve tried really hard to keep up the lady-like demeanor, but you just blew it. You don’t know this of course because it’s in our nature to pretend like nothing has happened. But it happened, and he knows it. And guess what? It’s okay.
I’m talking about finally letting go and truly giving no f*#ks. While all couples are different, these stages in a relationship are inevitable and we just have to accept it. If he loves you, and he’s the one, he will accept it too. Heck, he’s guilty of being not attractive too.
1. “I’ll have my own.”
You skip ordering the salad and go straight for those bone-in wings. What’s a little grease on the fingers when a thing called hand wipes exists? (Wings > Embarrassment)
2. *Texts at lightning speed*
You go from spelling out and double checking every word on a text before pressing send, to dumbing yourself down to a third-grade level. Somehow he still understands what you are saying, and most likely sends a text back full of acronyms that you, too, understand.
You make no effort in putting on makeup prior to dialing facetime. You also skip putting makeup on to send a sexy selfie. Bed hair and all is much more appreciated because these days you and your partner have more fun laughing about who sent the most ugliest selfie on Snapchat.
4. “Crap, I’m out of razors. Oh wells.”
You let your body fur grow out because you are cold and lazy, and you have a damn right to be as warm bodily as your partner.
5. “Thanks, babe”
You let him pay for lunch this time without offering because you paid for lunch last time. If he offers to pay a few more times in-between, why not? It’s likely he’s making more anyway because gender inequality, and he’s a keeper because he protests this for you.
6. “Set your alarm and I’ll set mine.”
You go over to his place late at night in your most comfiest, grandma-like underwear, and you don’t even think twice about it because you are going there to sleep and for nothing more.
7. “Mark it in your calendar, please.”
You let him know your period schedule because it’s in his best interest to know when to not mess with you.
8. “We chillin, brah?”
You are mutually agreeing to not have sex tonight because Netflix and chill actually means Netflix and chill in your comfiest sweatpants.
You wake up in the morning and leave the bathroom door open while on the toilet. He probably walks in and starts to brush his teeth. Not a word is said about this occasion.
10. “Excuse me.”
You let one out, he lets one out, and it is mutually celebrated because talk about a milestone in your life.
11. “You get me.”
You get Spanx for your birthday, and it’s not that fake s*#t. It’s the real deal Spanx and it is the best gift he has ever given you.
12. “Ugh, so many feelings!”
You can rant on about someone or something your partner doesn’t even know of, and he let’s you without judging you.
13. “Please bring soup.”
You let him come over when you are sick, and even sneak in a kiss he doesn’t reject.
14. *Opens credit card bill*
You show him your credit card bill and he shows you how to prioritize your receipts and money-spending, rather than freaking out about the $100 dollars you spent on a pair of shoes from Nordstrom.
15. “I found me a keeper.”
You FINALLY stop worrying about your weight, and admit that, no, you actually don’t go to the gym.